Performer’s contract rider could hold some surprises
Now and then, you hear about someone hiring a big-name entertainer for a private gathering.
My wife’s birthday isn’t far off, and I wondered if Adele might be available. My wife likes “Rolling in the Deep.”
Well, I’ve discovered she’ll be expecting the star treatment if I manage to book her.
In her dressing room, Adele will demand a plate of chicken salad sandwiches and fresh fruit. And that chicken salad can’t contain any tomatoes, vinegar or chili. The fruit can’t be citrus, either … just bananas, apples, grapes and fresh berries. She’ll also require an assortment of chewing gum, a bottle of “best quality” red wine, a dozen bottles of spring water and six teaspoons. Not the plastic kind, mind you – gotta be at least stainless steel. And she’ll also want a pack of Marlboro Lights and a lighter.
Adele will be brewing tea in an electric kettle I’d be providing and pouring it into six large mugs for which I’d also be responsible. And I can forget about using mugs from my kitchen cabinet. They must be brand new, thoroughly washed and nicely dried.
An artist or band knows they’ve made it when their tour contracts include a “rider” – an addition that concert promoters and venues must agree to before they can book an act for a live show. It’s called a rider because it rides along on the main agreement.
Typically, riders stipulate standard stuff that most touring performers expect once they hit town for the show. Maybe a certain hotel, the number of meals needed for crew members, accouterments in backstage dressing rooms – that sort of thing.
It’s that last one that can sometimes get out of hand. Some big-time acts occasionally insert some astonishing stipulations along with the normal array of dressing room snacks, beverages and alcohol.
Probably the most memorable wacky band rider was one put forth by Van Halen in the 1980s. It insisted that a candy bowl on the catering table be filled with M&M’s, none of which could be brown. David Lee Roth later said it was a test to see if concert promoters had actually read the band’s complicated production contract, but it seemed to kick off a tradition that continues today.
Soon, a Beach Boys rider was said to call for 48 large bath towels, Marlboro Lights in a soft pack with a child-safe lighter that categorically could not be green, and a 50-foot roll of Saran Wrap.
But that’s nothin’. Here are some of history’s most outrageous tour riders.
Drake‘s rider has insisted an Andis Professional T-Outliner Beard and Hair Trimmer be provided, along with four dozen natural-scented incense sticks, E-Z Wider rolling papers, a package of Dutch Master President cigars, and Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap. Drake says the soap “tingles the body and clears the mind.”
On one Australian tour, Pharrell Williams ordered that his dressing room guests be entertained by belly dancers while they guzzled 20 crates of Grey Goose, 15 magnums of Perrier Jouet Belle Epoque champagne, and 20 crates of Bacardi rum.
Among Kanye West‘s past dressing room requirements have been a barber’s chair and a slushy machine with mixes of Coke, Hennessy, Grey Goose and lemonade. He also expected several bowls of nuts. And a box of toothpicks.
At one show, Jay-Z wanted a 1957 or 1962 model Maybach with tinted windows for spins around the venue parking lot, along with peanut butter and jelly. He typically insists on seven dressing rooms, all at 72 degrees.
Beyoncé just stipulates that her one dressing room be kept at 78 degrees and be made redolent by rose-scented candles. But don’t forget a damn lighter to spark ’em up. Queen Bey will also demand a case of Aquafina water (half cold, half room temperature) and a new coffee pot she can use to make hot tea. She’ll need some sliced lemons for that, too. Apparently she totes her own preferred tea.
Rihanna presses for blue or black drapes layered with “icy-blue chiffon” lining her dressing room, along with an animal-print throw rug. And the rug’s gotta be clean, so she can walk on it barefoot. There must also be six Archipelago Black Forest candles and four small, clear, square vases with white tulips and no foliage. A very relaxed atmosphere.
Katy Perry has a very specific food list with freeze-dried strawberries and a bowl of whole fresh organic apples, bananas, oranges and grapes. She’d also like a plate of fresh-cut cucumber, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, snap peas and celery with ranch dip. To drink, a half-dozen Vitamin waters zero, and two bottles of Santa Margarita Pinot Grigio. And plastic drinking straws.
Meanwhile, Marilyn Manson hankers for just two items: Haribo brand gummy bears and a bald-headed, toothless hooker.
Foo Fighters had a 52-page rider for their 2011 tour that included mostly inside jokes and hints they didn’t want other acts’ leftovers. “How about having the condiment fairy drop off a gaggle of new, unopened condiments? We don’t want the last few millimeters (of what) Alice Cooper left in the mustard bottle.” In fact, they ask that anything left over from their visit go to a local homeless shelter or soup kitchen.
Metallica, in their 24-page tour rider, wants bacon available for every single meal of the day. That includes a hot breakfast for 100 people which must incorporate a lot of fresh fruit, two gallons of every juice you can name, and close to a dozen different brands of cereal.
In 1998, blink-182’s rider insisted they be provided with one “X-rated lesbian magazine.” That’s long since been precluded, but they still petition for a box of Cap’n Crunch breakfast cereal.
Back in the day, Guns N’ Roses needed an “assortment of adult magazines” and four cartons of cigarettes for every show. One carton each of Dunhill and Camel, two of Marlboro. That’s about 1,500 cigarettes. It’s noteworthy that the band sells “Fuck Cancer” T-shirts at their shows.
Paul McCartney‘s rider requires that dressing room furniture not be made of any animal skin or print. Even artificial versions are banned. And Sir Paul once stipulated the room have “19 leafy six-foot plants and four leafy four-foot plants.” It was said Paul would not take the stage if any plant didn’t meet its requisite size.
Mariah Carey‘s list also includes “tall, leafy plants” – eight of them – along with two vases of white roses and black drapes around the perimeter. And she wants the temperature around 75 degrees. A three-seat couch should be provided in “a plain color like black, dark grey, cream or dark pink – no busy patterns.” The ultimate diva has been known to ensure all toilet paper within reach is of a certain shade of pink. Once, in London, she requested a Rolls-Royce, a pink carpet, confetti shaped like butterflies, 80 security guards, 20 white kittens and 100 doves. The venue vetoed the kitten requisition.
James Brown, The Godfather of Soul, once requested “two girls under the age of 21 and a ladies’ hair dryer.” Not sure if the necessities were linked.
Prince, on his 2004 Musicology tour, ordered that “All items in the dressing room must be covered by clear plastic wrap until uncovered by main artist. This is absolutely necessary.”
Among Eminem‘s demands: 25-pound dumbbells, lots of Diet Coke, Red Bull and bottled water, jumbo shrimp and six Lunchables – three turkey and three ham-and-cheese.
Korn‘s rider stipulates that the band must have “access to a ‘rock-friendly’ lawyer, medical doctor, dentist, masseuse and chiropractor” while they’re in town. And private, clean bathrooms with dimmable lights.
On Slayer‘s 2011’s “Fun Fun Fest” tour, the band requested “100 snow-white goats for slaughter,” a Halal butcher to do the slaughtering, and bags in which to store the flesh. They also insisted on blood-proof umbrellas, a pentagram made of sandwiches, and a human skull full of sweets. Plus “two shoeboxes to hide our GRAMMY awards,” specifying that “GRAMMYs” should not be written on the boxes.
During Ozzy Osborne‘s 1999 tour, he wanted three tanks of oxygen available with a doctor on standby to administer a B-12 shot and take care of his nose, ears, and throat. Also, plenty of nearby fire extinguishers were insisted on.
Mötley Crüe’s rider demands that Nikki Sixx be supplied with a boa constrictor no less than 15 feet in length. They also desire a machete, a stainless steel double-bladed non-serrated survival knife, and a Heckler & Koch MP-5 SD sub-machine gun with integrated silencer and 500 rounds of 9mm ammo. Plus some nice-smelling candles. They also want the locations for local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor, who squeezes himself into some pretty snug stage costumes, requests two boxes of corn starch.
Among Madonna’s many preposterous requirements over the years has been her insistence that all the seats on her toilets be brand new. You know … touched for the very first time by only her bottom. The Material Girl also saw to it that they were removed before she hopped back on the tour bus so they could never reach eBay, where they would certainly have sold for a billion dollars each. Once, she reportedly required accommodations for her 200-person entourage and 20 international phone lines to call friends in other countries. Plus, her backstage room had to look exactly like home, so she had her own furniture shipped to each venue.
Mary J. Blige also knows the value of a new toilet seat in every city she visits. That’s what she requires, along with a pack of Mentos.
Cher? She demands a separate room for her wigs. Alicia Keys? Seven sets of silverware, three Glade candles, three cans of chunk white tuna, 10 Nutri-Grain Bars, six packets of Quaker Oats Instant Oatmeal, and menus from three local seafood and Italian restaurants where she can order meals. Lady Gaga? Cable TV, please. And a blender with frozen berries and non-fat Greek yogurt to make smoothies.
After doing some research, it appears Bush might be a potential act for my wife’s birthday gig. Seems the most outlandish demand in Bush’s rider is a requirement that no less than 10 percent of the venue’s security personnel be female. That, I believe I can do.
But my top pick is Taylor Swift. Her tour buses seem to tote just about everything she could ever need. Her rider’s most significant ask is for a quick run to Starbucks if they pull in before 11 a.m. Everything else on her list is most likely in my pantry or a freezer case at my neighborhood Kroger.
